Do you ever catch yourself scrolling through Instagram with a feeling of deflation and inadequacy? Do all of your friends appear to be living a perfect life? In a world that frequently bombards us with unrealistic standards and expectations, it can be really hard not to compare yourself, losing a little self-esteem and confidence along the way.
As a life coach who loves nothing more than to focus on female empowerment, I understand the struggles many of you face when it comes to embracing your true worth. After years of giving to and caring for everyone else, you’ve placed your needs and desires at the bottom of the pile, which has gently chipped away at your self-worth and self-esteem. But, fear not, all is not lost and this doesn’t need to be the case.
Here are a few easy and practical strategies and mindset shifts you can adopt to help boost your self-esteem. We’ll have you stepping out with confidence in no time.
Embrace Self-Acceptance
The first step towards increasing self-esteem and building your confidence is to accept and embrace who you truly are. Recognise that you are a remarkable individual with strengths, talents, and flaws. There is only one you. The world would be a very boring place if we were all the same, so enjoy bringing your own uniqueness to the world. Focus on your positive qualities and celebrate your achievements. A really simple exercise is to have a ‘Big Me Up’ book or something similar.
Write down all of your positive traits, everything you are good at, what you have achieved, compliments you have been given and keep to hand for when you need a little boost. Try and avoid comparing yourself to others and remember that everyone has their own journey. If you get caught up on things like Instagram, try to limit who you follow to people who have realistic accounts. If it’s all too perfect it’s most likely been engineered.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk can be one of the biggest barriers to self-esteem and confidence. Pay attention to your inner dialogue and what you are saying to yourself. Be aware of negative thoughts, notice them, ask yourself if they have any merit and then turn them around into positive statements and affirmations. It’s all too easy to be flippant and say things like ‘I look fat today’ or ‘nobody loves me’.
The issue is that the brain cannot tell whether something is true or not so eventually you’ll begin to believe it and become it. Surround yourself with positive influences, supportive friends, and people who uplift and encourage you. This will help to raise your vibration and you’ll notice the positive shift in your energy.
Set Realistic Goals
Setting achievable goals is essential for personal growth and building confidence. If you make them too adventurous, you can be setting yourself up for a fall so break larger goals down, into smaller, actionable steps which are achievable in a realistic time frame. Be sure to celebrate each milestone along the way, this helps to reinforce your belief in your capabilities.
Remember, progress, no matter how small, is still progress. I absolutely love a list! Nothing gives me greater pleasure than ticking things off and feeling like I’ve achieved. I use this fabulous ‘Goal Setter’ book by Mal Paper; it’s taken the overwhelming nature of goal setting and made it easy and fun, I highly recommend it.
Practice Self-Care:
Self-care is crucial for nurturing your self-esteem and confidence. Self-care isn’t always about fluffy slippers and eye masks – it’s whatever brings you happiness. Make time for activities that bring you joy, whether it’s practising yoga, going for a walk in nature, indulging in a good book, having a bath or cooking your favourite meal.
Try to do something just for you every day. If you’re struggling to find time, make a date with yourself in your diary and stick to it. You wouldn’t cancel a meeting, so why should you be less of a priority? Prioritise yourself, prioritise self-care, and you’ll find yourself feeling more balanced and empowered in no time.
Challenge Yourself
Stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing new challenges are really powerful ways to boost self-esteem and confidence. Take risks, try new things, and face your fears head-on. Recently I went to a ‘Wim-Hof’ retreat by myself, combatting two fears all at once – going away alone and getting into an ice bath, twice! I can’t tell you how good I felt by the end of the weekend.
Each time you overcome a challenge, you’ll increase your resilience and gain a sense of accomplishment, both of which lay a solid foundation for future success and will propel you forward.
Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
We’ve all known at least one ‘energy vampire’ at some point in our lives. You know, the kind of person who after 5 minutes has stolen all of your joy and happiness, leaving you feeling deflated and sad. It’s quite remarkable how they do it! The people we surround ourselves with can significantly impact our self-esteem.
Make sure you surround yourself with people who believe in your potential, support your dreams, and inspire you to become the best version of yourself. Try and distance yourself from any negative influences or toxic relationships that drain your energy and hinder your growth. Trust me when I say that you do not need them.
Focus on Strengths and Celebrate Successes
Just as you need to focus on positive thoughts, also focus your attention on your strengths, not your weaknesses. Recognise and appreciate all of your unique qualities, attributes and talents that make you, and only you, exceptional.
Celebrate your successes, both big and small. No win is ever too small. Take time to remember all of your positive experiences and refer back to the ‘Big Me Up’ book I mentioned earlier to bolster your self-esteem and instil confidence in everything you do.
Practice Self-Compassion
In order to increase your self-esteem and confidence you’ll need to be kind and compassionate towards yourself. Treat yourself with the same love and understanding that you give to your dearest friend. Learn to love your imperfections and embrace the learnings from any setbacks you may have without being too hard on yourself. Remember that through each mistake we make, we grow.
Increasing self-esteem and building confidence is an ongoing journey that requires patience, self-reflection, and practice. We have only one chance at life so I encourage you to embark on this transformative path with an open mind and a willingness to embrace your authentic self.
By implementing these strategies and cultivating a positive mindset, you will unlock your full potential, step into your power, and radiate confidence in all areas of your life. Remember, you are worthy, capable, and deserving of living a life filled with self-esteem and empowerment.
