We’ve all had those mornings where we look in the mirror and don’t like what we see. We instantly judge ourselves and the negative whisper in our heads, not so kindly tells us that we look tired and old or saggy and wrinkly. In fact, we’re just plain old mean to ourselves and it’s a voice which, even though it is a whisper, is loud and hard to get away from. So, how do you feel better when you look in the mirror?
Starting your day being self-critical, self-loathing and unkind to yourself is not good and will impact the success and happiness of your day. Try to be aware of these thoughts, acknowledge them but then tell yourself something lovely instead, such as ‘I look gorgeous today and I’m going to be great!’. It may sound silly, but trust me, it will make a difference to your day.
Give Yourself A High Five
Mel Robbins has done a lot of research with neuroscientists on the positive impact of giving yourself a high five in the mirror each morning but that’s a whole different topic for another day. In the meantime, her book ‘The High 5 Habit’ is well worth the read and I highly recommend diving into her suggested practices.
Needless to say, the days where we naturally give ourselves a compliment are less than frequent. It’s as if we’ve been conditioned to be mean to ourselves.
Maybe it’s my job and having worked in aesthetics for so long I’m more critical. Some mornings will be better than others and I will fill myself with positive reinforcement and skip off into the day feeling confident and happy. Other days, as you would expect, I’m not so lucky, especially after a poor night’s sleep, lack of water and a couple too many glasses of wine. Then I’ll see a tired older face which fills me with negativity.
How To Feel Better When You Look In The Mirror
Since I realised the power of our own thoughts, I’ve made a conscious effort to be kind to myself as I’m aware that, as Robert T Kiosaki says ‘it’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power!
But ageing is a natural process and our appearances will change. The good news is that there are plenty of basic tips, empowering us to soften the process:
So, what can we do?
Take Care Of Your Skin
A good skincare regime is essential and I highly recommend using products of cosmeceutical grade, meaning they are clinically proven so we know they work. Often these can only be found in medical aesthetic clinics where someone will be on hand to advise you. It’s not a case of one size fits all, so here are my favourite ingredients and ones to look out for:
- Start with a face wash to cleanse, making sure it’s right for your skin. If you’re prone to congestion, breakouts and oily skin, opt for one which contains salicylic acid.
- Vitamin C is a powerful antioxidant which will help to mop up the free radicals (caused by the sun, pollution, smoking etc) which would go on to cause ageing of healthy cells
- Niacinamide, a form of Vitamin B3 has a wide range of benefits from reducing inflammation, pigmentation and smoothing texture
- Hyaluronic acid, our own body’s moisturiser, depletes with time. Luckily we can substitute it and plump our skin again
- Retinol – this ingredient gets a bad wrap sometimes but only because the strength is poorly selected and no instructions are given on how to use it. Start low and start slow.
- Finally sunscreen with SPF50. These days, there are amazing, lightweight sunscreens which should be used on a daily basis, irrespective of the weather. A decent SPF50 will save your skin!
A daily mindful skincare practice is something you do morning and evening — it will give empowerment, reduce your stress, encourage self-care and increase your self-worth. And, when you start waking to notice your skin improving in health, your emotional health will improve too. An effective routine can help prevent acne, treat wrinkles, and help keep your skin looking rejuvenated and bright.
Take Your Makeup Off Before Bed
Please don’t go for convenience and use a face wipe. Whilst I appreciate they are super easy, they are full of alcohol which leaves residue on your skin, drying it out. Instead reach for some micellar water or a nice gentle facial wash which can be used to remove eye make-up as well.
Drink Plenty Of Water
We’ve all seen the effects of dehydration on our skin when we’re had a few glasses of wine or haven’t drunk enough water. Get at least 2 litres a day, more if you’re exercising or in hot weather
Focus On Nutrition
Eat a colourful, balanced and nutritious diet. Sugar (including alcohol) is the devil when it comes to your skin causing inflammation and ageing
Avoid Smoking
This one speaks for itself. You can always tell a smoker by the extra lines on their face (particularly around the mouth), and the general palour of their skin, which tends towards the grey.
Avoid Direct Sunshine
Whilst SPF50 will help, it will not block the sun’s rays and over time, lines, wrinkles, pigmentation and redness will occur. UVA, the one which ages us, is present all year round and comes through glass – don’t be fooled into thinking you’re safe inside on a gloomy day!
That being said, we all love a good dose of sunshine, and that Vitamin D is great for boosting the mood and – yes – your skin. So, when I say avoid direct sunlight, I mean it literally; soak up as many rays as you can, but do it sensibly. Shaded spots on a sunny day and wide brimmed hats are your friend, the wider the brim the better (which, of course, has the added bonus of being highly fashionable!).
Get Plenty Of Exercise
Exercise increases circulation, meaning more blood flow carrying oxygen and nutrition to your cells – the result is more vibrant skin, plus you’ll feel energised. The bonus benefit of getting plenty of exercise where your reflection is concerned is that it won’t just help your skin’s appearance.
Regular exercise will help you shed and keep off any extra weight, while toning your muscles. Even if you’re not really ‘into’ exercise, there are plenty of ways you can work it into your daily routine in a low impact way, like walking or yoga.
Prioritise Quality Sleep
7 to 8 hours are advisable. Sleep is where the magic happens, where cells rest and renew giving both your body and mind time to recharge. Creating and maintaining great sleep hygiene will do wonders for your skin, as well as your overall health and mood.
Be Mindful
Practising mindfulness has been proven to reduce stress, anxiety and excess worry, while boosting self-esteem.
Invest In Aesthetic Treatments
There are a plethora of incredible treatments to alleviate the signs of ageing and promote overall skin health and rejuvenation and again, another blog.
Work On Your Self-Esteem
What is the common factor among all these things? They all have an impact, in various ways, on your self-esteem. Self-esteem refers to the overall perception of one’s self-worth or personal value, encompassing feelings of worthiness and competence in areas that hold significance to the individual.
Your self-esteem plays a crucial role in determining how you evaluate your own value, importance, and abilities. It is generally regarded as a lasting characteristic rather than a temporary state or mood. Low self-esteem can really hold you back in life, and is linked to increased engagement in negative self-related thinking, including one’s reaction to their own reflection.
Mindfulness, in particular, holds significant potential in enhancing self-esteem. It is believed to achieve this by reducing negative self-referential thought patterns, promoting acceptance, positive emotions, and self-compassion.
By being proactive and working on your self-esteem you can really shift your perceptions of yourself; not only the external self you see in the mirror, but also your internal self.
Stress And Worry
‘You look like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders!’
No one wants to hear this but you can’t hide stress and worry, it’s literally written all over your face, with a furrowed brow, dark circles under the eyes, red, inflamed and dry skin, even an acne break out. We inevitably appear older.
When we hit menopause, a whole host of changes happen to our skin, body and mind! Some women get a really rough deal and it can be tough, I’ve seen many of my patients go through hell until they sought help. It’s often only the physical changes which are spoken about but the loss of emotional control, loss of identity and the stress it can take on your relationships through lack of understanding can be huge. This additional stress will also be reflected in our faces which further enhances our dislike with ourselves and self-loathing.
Skincare will help, as will aesthetic treatments – these will help to hide the visible signs but they will not alleviate the cause. It’s particularly important to pay attention to your wellness when you’re stressed, as these are the times we let self care slide. Developing a positive stress mindset can help with this, as it enables you to build stress resilience.
Life Coaching And Skincare?
Coaching will help by identifying the cause of your stress and worries and then an effective plan will help you to either see past the issue or help you solve it. You will appear lighter, brighter and more youthful just from this.
The Anna Miller Method is a unique program that combines coaching with facial rejuvenation, invigorating both your life as well as your appearance. As we coach your stress away, you will begin to take control; sleeping better, gaining energy and living a life of new and better self-care practices.
You will begin to wake to look in the mirror feeling confident, beautiful and realigned with your true self.
